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President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which
country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

'Hallo, President Bush' a heavily accented voice said. This
is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove,
Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are
officially declaring war on you eh!'

'Well Archie,' George replied, 'This is indeed important
news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' said Archie, after a moments calculation 'there
is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick,
and the whole dart team from the pub.

George paused... 'I must tell you, Archie, that I have one
million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Holy Herrin' Shit!' said Archie. 'I'll have ta call ya

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. 'Mr. Bush,
the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some
infantry equipment'

'And what equipment would that be Archie?' George asked.

'Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's
farm tractor.'

President Bush sighed. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have
16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also,
I've increased my army to one and a half million since we
last spoke'

'Lard T'underin' Jeezus, bye', said Archie, 'I'll be getting
back to ya.'

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. 'President Bush
, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves
airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a
couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the
Legion have joined us as well!'

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. 'I
must tell you, Archie, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000
fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we
last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'

'Holy Mary in a dory!,' said Archie, 'I'll have ta call
youse back.'

Archie called again the next day. 'President Bush! I am
sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis
'ere war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that' said George. 'Why the sudden change
of heart?'

'Well, sir,' said Archie, 'we've all sat ourselves down and
had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize
dat dere's no fookin' way we can feed two million

Canadians are a practical people, eh! :icon_razz: :icon_razz:
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