Aliens

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was

closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the

younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in

peace. Take us to your leader."



The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry

at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."



The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,

there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's

haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings,

Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your

leader or I will fire!"



The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that!

I don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the young alien. He aimed his weapon at the

pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball

roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and

deposited him a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards away in a cactus

patch.



About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he

refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked

dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his

big, green head.



"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He darn

near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"



The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy

friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my

intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap

his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear."