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> > INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MANLAW
> >
> >
> > 1. Under no circumstances may two men share an
> > umbrella.
> >
> > 2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the
> > following circumstances:
> > (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
> > (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her
> > Blouse.
> > (c) After wrecking your boss's car.
> > (d) When she is using her teeth.
> >
> > 3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
> > may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
> >
> > 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you
> > must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
> >
> > 5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
> > sister is off limits forever unless you actually
> > marry her.
> >
> > 6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's
> > fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the
> > temperature is unsuitable.
> >
> > 7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday
> > present for another man. In fact, even remembering
> > your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that
> > point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the
> > birthday boy's choice.
> >
> > 8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines
> > pit stops, not the weakest.
> >
> > 9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a
> > sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in
> > progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
> >
> > 10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after
> > you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head
> > under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
> > entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
> >
> > 11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol
> > drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach
> > ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only
> > when it's free.
> >
> > 12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical
> > peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the
> > nuts.
> >
> > 13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
> >
> > 14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
> > Issue closed.
> >
> > 15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you
> > didn't see anything.
> >
> > 16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
> > be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
> > of the game and the ability to drink as much as the
> > other sports watchers.
> >
> > 17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
> > dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
> >
> > 18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
> > last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just
> > greedy.
> >
> > 19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd
> > better be talking about his choice of beer.
> >
> > 20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing
> > a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex
> > pending your response.
> >
> > 21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
> > while lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b)
> > C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and
> > we can hit the showers!
> >
> > 22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are
> > on equal footing
> > (i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.).
> > For all other situations, an almost imperceptible
> > nod is all the conversation you need.
> >
> > 23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a
> > woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex
> > with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if
> > necessary.
> >
> > 24. The morning after you and a girl who was
> > formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey
> > sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty
> > is no reason for you not to nail each other again
> > before the discussion occurs about what a big
> > mistake it was.
> >
> > 25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is
> > not acceptable for her to drive yours.
> >
> > 26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown,
> > pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
> >
> > 27. The girl who replies to the question "What do
> > you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me,
> > you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
> >
> >
> > 28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating
> > or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
> >
> > 29. We've all heard about people having guts or
> > balls. But do you really know the difference between
> > them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
> > definition of each is listed below:
> >
> > "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with
> > The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
> > And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning
> > or are you flying somewhere?"
> >
> > "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with
> > the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on
> > your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and
> > having the balls to say, "You're next!"
> >
> > We hope this clears up any confusion,
> >
> > The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd



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